Passions

Overtime we find ourselves wondering how our life path came to be. As I sat at my desk one day doing the same thing I did every day, input data, review documents, send emails, repeat, I wondered where my light had gone. My soul felt emptier day by day until I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I finally turned to my colleague, “can I say something in complete honesty?” They paused their work, turned towards me and said “of course.” I hesitated, not because I didn’t trust them but the words were escaping me, finally I blurted out “I’m not motivated, I feel so bored all the time.” They confided the same sentiment, sharing how they wished they knew what their passions were. That’s when the light bulb clicked on – passions. 

Overtime my passions became based on societal ideas of success but they weren’t my own and never had been. Art was my passion, and I had convinced myself I wasn’t an artist, I couldn’t draw, sculpt, or paint, but the one form of art I ignored was photography. In high school I signed up for analog photography, discovering I had a natural ability to see something and capture it, and my teacher tried to convince me to go to art school, but again societal ideas of success played a role in my decisions. A decade went by, I earned my undergraduate and graduate degrees in business and stepped into my career journey because that’s what society tells us brings success, but it doesn’t say anything about happiness. 

Throughout the years I still captured moments or scenes I found to be beautiful, whether with my Nikon or my cellphone, but the idea never crossed my mind that this was my passion, to me it was just something I enjoyed. All these photos saved, never being seen by anyone except myself or close circle, until my colleague mentioned passions. I asked them if I could show them some of my work, and they didn’t hesitate to say yes. As I watched them look through my photos and watch my videos, I was nervous – what would they think, would they find them good, what would they say? – the questions racing through my head. What they said next hit me… it was the wake up call I didn’t realize I needed but grateful I received. “What are you doing here!? Wasting your talent like this.”